The Big 3-0!

In this age, turning 30 isn't exactly easy Call it an end to my 20s meltdown. The past few years ushered in an unexpected personal wave of panic, doubt and a woe-is-me attitude. Despite all the goals I had accomplished, or thought I was supposed to accomplish, I suddenly began to question prior decisions and worry about those I had yet to make.

With 30 staring me down, what road would I take next? At this milestone, was I truly where I wanted to be and doing what I wanted to do? Where was the "30s for Dummies" book when I needed it?

So...now I sit the morning after the Big 3-0, not feeling incredible different to now be in the 30's side but wondering what the next path will be? I really have it going on! kind of. Unlike some who face this same fate, I have a husband, one child, and a career that in this time of economic downfall is pretty stable. My husband's business seems to be stable and growing (?) and we are blessed by the Lord and not feeling any of the pressure in my pocketbook. My husband may be feeling it, but I like to live in the ignorant bliss of not watching the news.

One reason for my meltdown moments are the fact I am ticking closer to the stoke of midnight on the biological clock. My family feels a little incomplete, I had pictured it all different...one girl and one boy...maybe twins by the age of 30, which is certainly out of the question. Now I wrestle with those issues quietly and with a specialist.

For me birthdays are more like the New Year's Day...this is the time that I like to think about things to accomplish by the next extinguishing of the candles. So I will spend some time evaluating the where I hoped to be with the where I want to be. Once I get is all figured out I will share, but don't hold your breath cause I don't know many who have it all figured out.

Now that I've turned 30, I'm no longer afraid of what's in store. Unlike a birthday present, life is not always neatly packaged and tied with a bow.