Family Pics

I am so excited to get our family pics back today. We have been waiting for two weeks. We still have to decide which ones to get printed, but we have these for digital use. I am pretty excited about them... They are great. They are motivation to walk more... and eat right, but since I don't usually photo well... I am excited about how beautiful they turned out.

Mid- Week Check Up!

I found out last Friday... that I was NOT pregnant. So... I felt a little irritated, but knowing that I would be away from Michael all week helped me feel like there was some hope and reason "not this month" was the answer.

So this week has been a little crazy. I have been working in Tulsa facilitating a Schools Attuned Course. Originally, I was going to co-facilitate, then I was going to be alone, then co-facilitate. I spent last week focusing on working out and getting together my luggage, and didn't study because I was going to have a a partner. I started Monday with a partner but by the afternoon, it was decided that it was only going to be me. There were several people who didn't show, so with only 12 participants, I am teaching on my own. The money is GREAT!!! so i am not complaining aboutthe work- although i am pretty tired.

The bad thing about this... it that there is all kinds of snacks (and chocolate) within reach. Such a weakness of mine. Plus, I have eaten Panera for lunch the last two days. I didn't really get to pick the restaruant because the RC was paying... I have caved in on eating the chocolate and eating bread. I did make an awesomely healthy dinner last night, so there is some grace. Facilitating is a stressful situation... doing it on your own is challenging. I was also VERY sick of salads and felt like I wanted to eat normal foods (bread). So I am hoping that I can maintain my weight loss and continue to ovulate on my own!

Today was the EDD of our little Angel baby. She/He left us almost 7 months ago... but it seems like just yesterday. While I have many things to be thankful for... I can't help but imagine what this month would have brought with a new life in our house. I keep getting formula and diapers in the mail~so if anyone needs them~, since Michael signed up for a baby magazine. We just had no idea that toward the end of the first trimester we would experience such devestation. I woke up in the middle of the night yesterday with gas pains, but for a millisecond thought I was in labor- what nasty tricks our mind can play on us in our sleep. A couple from our church recently lost a baby at 20 weeks, they were able to hold him, name him and spend several hours with him. My heart breaks for them... I am pretty sure that is a worse burden- and such a fresh wound. I still after all this time wonder "why?" I use to believe that some tradgic even would take place prior to this date and I would know that is why... but truthfully our lives have seemed to level off a little since then. I know that I have a family who loves me and that makes it is a little easier. I still wish that I was holding a little baby instead of holding on to hope that Friday will be a postive result!

Motivate Me!

Well, the week is beginning again, which doesn't mean much, except I will be bored. I am unmotivated to do much of anything. I think it is from the hormone related headache. I was going to run while Evy was at VBS... the weather was perfect, but I had to go meet with my friend/boss about school stuff. So, what should have taken a little while, took longer because we were talking. She came home and went to sleep, so I am just waiting for her to wake up or my hubby to come home.

I love to run stairs... it is one of the hardest workouts ever-- but I finally figured out a place to do it in this town. When I lived in Stillwater, I would do it at the OSU stadium in the summer heat while the boys practiced football. I figured if they could sweat in those pads and helmets, I could climb a few stairs. Plus... buff, sweaty football boys in tight pants were motivation as a teenager. I am not so sure that my new venue will provide any motivation (HS football field) but at least I will have something to try out.

Fathers Day....

The age old question posed to husband/father, "what do you want for_________" (fill in blank with any present giving occasion). I am not sure how this works in other households, but at my house it is usually followed by "I don't know". While this is the verbal response, there are many images flashing through the mind that are filtered through the "too expensive", "she won't buy that", "I'm not sure about that" "not for ______" categories until nothing remains. This year that statement included "what did I get you for Mother's Day?" The response was kind of loaded. As not to begin/or lengthen any current arguement, I tredded carefully. Because the reality of the situation was that he bought me a cute Vera Bradley purse, but gave it to me several weeks early. While I appreciated it greatly, I was left without a gift on Mother's Day. So does it count as a Mother's Day present if it given several weeks early?... I think I have determined (although I don't fully agree) that it should. Several people (including me) have received a more expensive gift at Christmas time that accounts for Christmans/birthday/V-day and every other gift giving occasion for the next year. We all know that it isn't really the case, but at time of purchase, that is the promise. So as I prepare for Father's Day shopping, I am at a loss as what to get. If I had an endless supply of money, I would purchase him a car and hire someone to work for him, but alas... that is not the case. This working mother just wants this day to be special for the man who makes her life brighter. So... off to shop!

Summer Sickness

What started a little tummy ache on Monday, has ballooned in to several days of throw up, "water toots" and fever. Evy isn't feeling well at all. Boy, it seems like when she gets sick, she gets it for the long hall. I have been fussing with purchasing a stoller. I found a great one, ordered it on May 30-- and it still hasn't arrived. So I call and they say it won't be at their plant until 6/17 and not to my house for a 5-7 days after that. I am leaving on the 21st hoping to take it with me. So now I am stoller searching in town... not smart...depressing.

Good news! Mike is out of the hosptial and will be going to St. Louis to have the testing to be put on the liver transplant list. He had 4 units of blood this week and seems to be doing well. We are hoping their is no more bleeding for a while.

I ran Sat. 6/7 and really enjoyed it. I didn't think it was too hard. In fact, I was impressed with how great it felt. Sunday my legs were sore, but I remembered my ipod kept saying that in 30 minutes I burned 339 cal. so it was worth it. I planned to run Monday- but toddler was throwing up... so we took a 50 minute walk- burned 495 cal. I love that Nike + ipod accessory. My only complaint... is my stroller hasn't arrived. I am really not happy about that... whole other blog....so I guess today is my run day.
After Evy started puking... I decided I was going to take the day as REST. But, I really needed the walk yesterday because, I felt like I ate the whole house. I was hungry and wanted a snack... so instead of preparing something for me, I ate one of Michael's cookies... which began a binge of bad foods and about 8 cookies. I bet I ate the seven small meals, but they weren't great for me. I guess it was okay... one splurge day isn't bad. But... it seems to put you in that funk. I didn't even count the points... but I should have. It will just make me feel guilty.
I also started progesterone yesterday. I felt weird all day- but attibuted it to Michael's dad going back to the hopsital... Evy being so puky... and eating bad, but maybe it was the progesterone. I am going to do some research and see what some of the side effects are.
Michael will work all day so we will go and spend some time with him at the office. I should really go and camp out up there to spend soem time together.

6/7/08 Goals:
1. Hip Hop Dance Video or walking
2. Eat within points 33% fat, 33% protien, 33% carbs
3. Five glasses of water or decaf tea- no soda

So I didn't really make my goals today. I did good on the points... until the blueberry pie and evening snow cone. I did weigh in... and drank a little water. We didn't get to the walk- but I did walk around Wal-Mart for about an hour shopping for healthy groceries.

Today's goals

1. Walk at least 60 minutes

2. Eat on points- 28 (with 33% carbs, 33% fat and 33% protein)

3. Drink water

4. Weigh In

So... after going to the doctor and being last weeks weight (with clothes on...) I knew that I should have some loss this week. But... then after 3 days living in a hotel and eating out EVERY meal, I wasn't so sure. But... I didn't drink cokes. I drank green tea most of the week- with some nasty side effects. So... the more I thought about the weirdness of eating this week, I wasn't sure I would have lost much. But... drum roll please............. one pound gone! I expected a little more at first, but I am happy with one pound. Especially since there wasn't much walking, standing or exercise during my three day conference. I did one day of swimming in...

I bought a new jogging stoller with a music player for Evy. She loves to listen to music and likes to ride in her stroller. So I thought it would be a perfect accessory for my walking/runnning for exercise. It still hasn't arrived yet, but I am eagerly awaiting it.

For those of you watching the blog change colors over the last few weeks... I just can't stand the bright green anymore... so I am changing again.

Surprise!

This may be TMI for most of you... but this blog is all about the lives of our family as we work on making it better... and this is a BIG part of it. I was sad that more of the events in Evy's pregnancy weren't cataloged a little better. I had wonderfully crazy dreams... and now wish they were written down. Anyway... woke up this morning with some EWCM- shocking since today is day 24-- but with the antibotics and shot medication I took right at the beginning of the cycle, it is no surprise to be a couple weeks late! So, just out of curiousity, I took an OPK test which was definately +~~ more so than usual. This wasn't suppose to happen for another 3 weeks, but it is a good second chance for this month. So I went to have my prescription for the progesterone filled at the pharmacy. I had checked on prices in OKC- $50 for one, less than $9 for the other... today, I paid $49 for the one that was less than $9 in OKC... disgusting. So... we shall see if this works. I decided that even if I started, a little extra progesterone won't hurt anything. It is really weird and surprising.

I am back from the doctor and hanging in the hotel- TGFWI- thank God for wireless internet! I was really impressed with the doctor's office. It was nice and stylish...they got me in about 10 minutes BEFORE my scheduled appointment- and I didn't have to get naked or have blood drawn. WHOHOO! So basically, he realized that I knew what I was talking about- had done research about my PCOS/endometrosis and was doing all the things I am suppose to be- eating right, taking meds, exercising, cutting caffenine, ect. He said that since I was 29 and had three pregnancies that it was likely that DH wasn't the problem. He said that I could get pregnant and that I shouldn't worry. His wife had 4 miscarriages and they have 3 grown children- so he knew our pain and didn't discount my biochem pregnancy as a pregnancy. He said that I wasn't a candidate for the expensive workup since I had had in done about 4 years ago. I don't have to have an HSG test (yet) but that is about the only major thing I will have done. He told me to keep using the OPK test and after color change bd that day and the next, then three days later start using progesterone sypositories 2 times a day. If in three months, I am not pregnant we would go with ovary suppression and injectable drugs. If I get pregnant, I have blood work ups and see him for several u/s, then between 8-12 weeks I 'graduate' back to my ob/gyn at home. He also said the prometruim that I took orally was like a joke- a homopathic bandaid of sorts. He thought the least invasice and inexpensive first.