There is just something about being honest! These days honesty is sometimes hard to come by. We teach our children to be honest in a world that sometimes rewards those who are far from it. So here is a little dose of honesty...
~ I love that my daffodils are blooming and warmer temperatures are rising. Can't wait for spring and summer!
~ I had a little breakdown about the end of this pregnancy last night. I cried and said "I can't do this anymore!!" and I truly meant it. But after a pep talk from my man and a (fairly) good night of sleep- I can at least do today. I imagine the next 11 days will be one day at a time.
~ I am thankful my MIL's skin issue is a not cancer and was resolved yesterday...and sorry it hurt!
~ I am having trouble wrapping my head around why I am carrying two healthy babies and others are not! It stinks and I hate it!
~ I am wishing I had more energy to accomplish the tasks I wish to accomplish. Today I will write thank-you notes for my baby shower. oh, and head to the hospital for another NST.
~ I am wishing more people stopped by just to chat or see what's going on. I am pretty bored all alone during the day. I know that will change once these babies come- but there is only so much daytime TV one can watch.
~ I do not like to watch the news....I would rather not know about the healthcare plan or government spending....I have enough to worry about :)
~ I'd love to consider being a SAHM...just not sure how to make it work, or if it would work for me.
~ Twins are very expensive. The EOBs keep coming in and I am hoping that we will be able to afford this new family of 5 when we are all finally together. The Lord will provide.
Okay...so enough honesty for one day. Guess I should get back to my "job"~~resting and growing babies!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Non Stress Test (NST) = Stress!!!
I have been feeling a bit geriatric these days as it seems I am spending lots of time seeing doctors. It started last week with an everyday visit to medical facility and has continued. For the past several weeks I have been seeing my OB every week and getting NST 2 times each week.
A NST is fairly simple: Basically they hook up 3 monitors on my stomach-one for each kid and one to monitor contractions. Madelyn doesn't like to stay on the monitors, so I usually spend the time holding it down and searching for her heartbeat. The test can take anywhere from 20 minutes to 40 minutes (average) if the babies are cooperating. Today....they were sleeping!!! Sleeping babies fail this test. The doctors want the babies to move around to increase and then decrease their heart rates several times during the test. Sleeping babies have stable, stagnant heart rates. To add to the stress of this, I had brought Evy with me to the hospital because Michael was meeting a client and the grandma's were working! She did very well for a 4 year old...but it added to my stress. I knew the test was taking a long time. The nurse came in with a vibrating noisemaker and zapped them a little. They were no longer sleeping and she was able to get her numbers a little quicker. I'm not too sure that I like the vibrating noisemaker...but it helped me get out quicker.
I was little upset (for no good reason) after the test was over, so I went to the office and hung out for a while. The good news is that I think I should only have 4 more of these left!!
A NST is fairly simple: Basically they hook up 3 monitors on my stomach-one for each kid and one to monitor contractions. Madelyn doesn't like to stay on the monitors, so I usually spend the time holding it down and searching for her heartbeat. The test can take anywhere from 20 minutes to 40 minutes (average) if the babies are cooperating. Today....they were sleeping!!! Sleeping babies fail this test. The doctors want the babies to move around to increase and then decrease their heart rates several times during the test. Sleeping babies have stable, stagnant heart rates. To add to the stress of this, I had brought Evy with me to the hospital because Michael was meeting a client and the grandma's were working! She did very well for a 4 year old...but it added to my stress. I knew the test was taking a long time. The nurse came in with a vibrating noisemaker and zapped them a little. They were no longer sleeping and she was able to get her numbers a little quicker. I'm not too sure that I like the vibrating noisemaker...but it helped me get out quicker.
I was little upset (for no good reason) after the test was over, so I went to the office and hung out for a while. The good news is that I think I should only have 4 more of these left!!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
17...16....15...14..
Let the countdown begin. We have a scheduled C-section date for April 12. This is a nice day. The babies will be born on an early Monday morning...a great way to start the week! It will also be a great way to disguise some of the grief that day brings. Several years ago, April 12 was Easter and my grandpa passed away. These babies should bring joy behind the sadness.
I am definitely looking forward to meeting them. In many ways, looking forward to not being pregnant. I guess I didn't realize how difficult the last few weeks would be! I am thankful that we have the ability to allow me to take some extra time off- which helps with the issues (swelling, difficulty walking, breathing, etc)
So...I have a few more days to get the house in order and make sure that we are prepared to bring home two bundles of joy. Don't get me wrong, most days I am going to sit and be lazy, resting, because I won't get to do that much when they arrive.
I am definitely looking forward to meeting them. In many ways, looking forward to not being pregnant. I guess I didn't realize how difficult the last few weeks would be! I am thankful that we have the ability to allow me to take some extra time off- which helps with the issues (swelling, difficulty walking, breathing, etc)
So...I have a few more days to get the house in order and make sure that we are prepared to bring home two bundles of joy. Don't get me wrong, most days I am going to sit and be lazy, resting, because I won't get to do that much when they arrive.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Why is it???
When you things are good, you feel good?
When things are bad, you feel rather bad?
When things are questionable, you feel questionable?
Today I am questionable! The last week has proved to be a little much. I have sort of hit a wall. I imagined that once I quit working, I would enjoy a Spring Break and some much needed rest. Well that hasn't happened, yet! We went Monday to the specialist for a super duper high resolution ultrasound. They could tell us that from all the angles they could see, everything looked good.
We even got a great pic of Jackson's face!
Tuesday I had my regular OB appt, only to find out they wanted me to have blood drawn. YUCK! My results came in Wednesday (after a good NST) with some elevated liver enzymes. I had more blood drawn yesterday and now I am waiting.............*sigh* All the internet research isn't too promising...so I am questionable. In some regards, I am ready to meet this babies...but 33 weeks is still early for them to exit the womb and enter the world. I keep asking God to strengthen me and them while we wait for their ordained birthdays. So, today I wait for the doctor office to call and make a decision based on the blood work from yesterday. Truthfully, this is the hard part for me. I have wrestled with the fact that two healthy babies will enter this world and come home with me. I am still in shock that it could happen...not fully equipped either way. But, it is taking ever ounce of me to put my trust in the un-see-able future. In the God that's not short of cash (sorry...song lyric I can't get out of my head) Not that I don't trust God, I just am ready to be in on the big picture. I am tired from wrestling!
When things are bad, you feel rather bad?
When things are questionable, you feel questionable?
Today I am questionable! The last week has proved to be a little much. I have sort of hit a wall. I imagined that once I quit working, I would enjoy a Spring Break and some much needed rest. Well that hasn't happened, yet! We went Monday to the specialist for a super duper high resolution ultrasound. They could tell us that from all the angles they could see, everything looked good.
We even got a great pic of Jackson's face!
Tuesday I had my regular OB appt, only to find out they wanted me to have blood drawn. YUCK! My results came in Wednesday (after a good NST) with some elevated liver enzymes. I had more blood drawn yesterday and now I am waiting.............*sigh* All the internet research isn't too promising...so I am questionable. In some regards, I am ready to meet this babies...but 33 weeks is still early for them to exit the womb and enter the world. I keep asking God to strengthen me and them while we wait for their ordained birthdays. So, today I wait for the doctor office to call and make a decision based on the blood work from yesterday. Truthfully, this is the hard part for me. I have wrestled with the fact that two healthy babies will enter this world and come home with me. I am still in shock that it could happen...not fully equipped either way. But, it is taking ever ounce of me to put my trust in the un-see-able future. In the God that's not short of cash (sorry...song lyric I can't get out of my head) Not that I don't trust God, I just am ready to be in on the big picture. I am tired from wrestling!
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