Infertility Awarness Week

I ran across this Infertility 101: Get the facts article from the RESOLVE website. I just couldn't help but add some Truth to the mix from the Bible.


Myth: Infertility is a women's problem.
Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Truth: Rachel (Genesis 30:1) She prayed and at long last God "opened her womb" and bore a son, Joseph



Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.
Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join a support group or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won't feel isolated.

Truth: For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope." Jermiah 29:11

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!
Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Truth: For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them. Acts 28:27


Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.
Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Truth: God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. Ecc 3: 11


Myth: If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!
Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

Truth: Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:23-25


Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.
Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.

Truth: However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33


Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!
Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.

Truth: "Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?" Romans 11:34

Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!
Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.

Truth: For there will be a time for every activity, a time for every deed. Ecc. 3:17

Myth: I'll be labeled a 'trouble maker' if I ask too many questions.
Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor.
A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician.

Truth: Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him." Matt 8: 77 "The Great Physician"

Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.
Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider childfree living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.


Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!
Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences.

Truth: Jesus died on the cross for our sins (John 3:16)
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:26-28

If you are experiencing the pain and hopelessness that infertility can bring, join a support group full of loving women who know the truth. Visit www.hannah.org or email me... I have been there too!

Looking for a change....

I told you a few days ago I told you I was looking for a change. I thought it was a change from my job/life/daily duties, but I after some retrospect, it isn't that at all. I want to be wrecked, wrecked by Jesus. I have been following the live blogging event from Culcutta, India. When Compassion began to pick the bloggers, I secretly desired to have the blogging readership of MckMama @ My Charming Kids or Angie Smith @ Bring the Rain so that I would have a shot to be considered. I don't...and I didn't (Thanks to the 20 of you who do read)


I have never participated in a mission trip event or any large out-of-your-comfort-zone evangelism event. I haven't had to opportunity to get out my comfort zone spiritually. I have been pondering the "love the least of me commands" as I read the posts from India. I really want to be in a place where God teaches me to love the least of those. I feel sorry for them as I pass them in my big SUV texting on my fancy cell phone, but I don't love them. And I guess maybe not even the homeless, poor and lonely, but even get a deeper greater understanding of the needs of the students in my school, so that I could love them more.

Michael and I wanted to do a family mission trip this year. We feel it is important to begin early to teach our daughter the importance of spreading the Gospel of Christ. Originally we planned to attend an MSMBI Shine trip to Mexico and Rio Grand Valley Texas in July...but with all the kidnapping and drug issues in border towns we have decided that now may not be the time to take our daughter to the Mexican border. Our church youth group will be going, assuming the swine flu hasn't killed the population. I would love to be involved in that trip...and I will leave it at that!



So... in the mean time I am looking for opportunities for God to wreck me. This is a scary place to stand.

And meanwhile our friends are being wrecked by God by starting literally picking up their lives in TX and starting a new Church in Fort Collins, CO. Please pray for them and this town.

I want to talk about meeeeeeeeeeeee!

I have been having a little trouble with writers block...well not actually writers block, more like writers overload. I could talk about all the funny things Miss Evy says, or all the hairs falling out of my head, maybe the stresses of owning your own business or last month of school issues in my classroom. I could bore you with more medical issues as related to my nerve dysfunction or the continued infertility or the more-than-likely small depression setting in. I could give you an update on all of the blogs of people who are facing such difficulty and in need of much prayers...there is so much. I could share my feels of fear that crept up throughout the night after those tornado sirens went off 4 times between 9:45p.m. and 2 a.m. this morning...However, this one topic just keeps rising to the top.

destiny.
des⋅ti⋅ny Pronunciation [des-tuh-nee]
–noun, plural -nies.
1. something that is to happen or has happened to a particular person or thing; lot or fortune.
2. the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.
3. the power or agency that determines the course of events.
4. (initial capital letter) this power personified or represented as a goddess.
5. the Destinies, the Fates.

Is this my destiny? Did I catch the right plane? Am I going to get to the destination?

As I look over my life this is not the plan I had in mind. I had it pictured a little differently. I really didn't set out to be a special education teacher married to a business owner in the armpit of America. HE did. I wanted something more exotic-with a more abundant income. I am having a little trouble adjusting. HE continues give me opportunities to adjust. I wanted my day in day out life to be noteworthy. HE continues to remind me how truly blessed I am with the life I live. I know it is a horrible thing to want days to be about me for a while, but I do...I want to be asking God to give me a heart for others instead of me. But, then, I am a little afraid of what HE might do. And while we are on that matter...we haven't been speaking as much lately...not His fault--all mine. Which might BTW be part of the need to talk all about me need, huh!?!

God's plan has been in motion for a long time and my predetermined, inevitable, irresistible course of events is locked into place. I believe that God's path for your life is set, he has a plan for you. That plan is in place...and he knows what you will do. So all of this was on the menu. Could I have made different choices and created a different life? Yes! Did God know that I would take this path? Yes! So much for the idea of destiny and free will...way too heavy for a blog post huh? Maybe we can save destiny and free will for a tall cup of coffee, a couple of hours and a couch! My whole point is...I hope I picked the right layovers to the destination.

I am just not so sure what is next? Michael and I some big decisions to make. I am definitely feeling at a crossroads. I don't know that I am content continuing to this path. It may just be time of year, (it's like the overwhelming tired your get at the end of a vacation when you are so ready to go home) or I maybe ready for change. I am not really sure what that change may be. I am asking for some big time prayers and support. I am not comfortable sharing details yet, which may be another reason for avoiding the blog...but in due time I am sure I will have plenty to share. In the meantime...prayers, notes of encouragement, and conversations over coffee are welcome!

*Oh...and if you are feeling WAY generous and want to add to the abundant salary that I had dreamed of...I can take donations in the form of a PayPal account. Just Kidding, friends. Well, only slightly! :)

On my knees...

Stellan is headed into to surgery as we speak. I am not sure why I feel such a deep connection/sympathy to someone I don't even personally know who lives half way across the US but I do. Jennifer has become someone I pray for daily, hope is doing well and look forward to updates. Today she faces ANOTHER mountain...her 5 month old baby will become on of the first his age to receive a risky heart surgery. She is miles away from her husband and three other small children and is right now at 7:45 AM Boston time watching a team of highly qualified doctors take her son away with her two father by her side- Abba and earthy. What a sweet spot! I would be freaking out... and I am sure she is...but she has maintained a great attitude through this last horrible month. So sport some orange to support "Stellan will Live" and pray for this little babies risky heart surgery. I am sure she would much rather be living her life in the thawing frozen tundra, eating earthland creature food and taking her children to the park vs. sitting in a crowded waiting room, ticking through the next 10800+ seconds of her life as she waits for the outcomes of this risky surgery.

For updates check out her blog at mycharmingkids.net or twitter/mckmama

A lot on the plate....

So after a visit to the nuerologist, it is clear that this problem isn't really going to get solved- at least not now- he continues to think that I suffer from cervical radiculopathy- pain from a pinched nerve radiating away from the neck and has added carpal tunnel to the mix. He suggested we try a different drug and start PT again. It seems that an EMG test will be in the mix in short order, but I was able to hold off on the electric shock and needle torture for at least a few more months.

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Michael's Dad is back in the hospital and still internally bleeding from an unknown source. They ran a body scan yesterday and are hoping to have some ideas today. I imagine that he will go back to OKC for more tests and treatments, so keep him in your prayers.

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Michael told me yesterday that he must move his office this weekend and have the wire man re-run his lines on Monday since the new rentors want to move in on April 22. The phone company can't get it together any earlier than 2 weeks to move the office from across town over to our new location. I bet if we asked from home phone service it could be done in 3 days or less.

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oh...and last week our dog ran away and never returned. She usually jumped out of the fence, but then came home within minutes or hours. She has been gone much longer than we have hope for return. Evy was devestated, so we went to the SPCA and got a new little daushaund named Pretzel. He is nuetured (yes, Jessica) current on all his shots and the sweetest little thing. In the few days we have had him he has only barked once- when Evy and I returned to the house and he and Michael were sleeping/watching TV. She loves him, however, he desire to be at home with him has caused some sort of naughty streak that I am hoping passes very soon.

Is *it* serious?

I sure hope not. I will more than likely find out tomorrow, after a visit to the neurologist. What is *it* you ask...well the pain in my neck of course! I have this long standing issue that my head was not properly attached to my shoulders. I can't say that God didn't have a plan for the way I was connected, it just isn't quite "textbook". I have a "non-structural pinched nerve in the C-5 and C-6" area of my neck. It causes consistant pain to my right shoulder and neck. It took 2+ years to diagnosis. There is no fix...except some pills. These pills, I take 3 times a day to block the pain. And for some reason...they quit working. When this became unbearable pain in Nov., a orthopedic doctor ordered and MRI and set up an appointment with the neurologist- for 2 months later- In the meantime, I did 4 weeks of PT and waited. When the pain started, I called on Monday to ask for an upgraded pill or add muscle relaxers to ease the pain...and during the return call from the nurse, I found out he wants to see me THIS week. So...tomorrow morning, I will go in to figure out what the next step is... I am sure it isn't serious.

He is Risen, Indeed!

Fast asleep!

Evy is much like her mama in many ways. I am a little scared of the person I am forming and shaping by example. She picks up on my mannerisms so easily. Like her mother and much unlike her father, she has the ability to fall asleep quickly. This has been her m.o. for her whole life. She feel asleep quickly as a infant, as long as she was perched on your chest. She falls alseep quickly at nap and we don't usually have to fight her going to bed. Tonight, she fell asleep in the car after church. One minute she was talking about her night...then 2 blocks later, out like a light! I laid her in her bed...and she is snoring away. Must have been a tough day.

Last week her daddy was going to meet the seller and he told her NOT to fall asleep as they drove. He wanted to not have to carry a sleeping child into the office. As they drove down Washington street, she was holding her eyes open with her fingers, so they would not slam shut. She didn't fall asleep, but it was a tough job. Oh, how I wish I had a picture to share.

Yard work and such

After the bbq last night and the great fun Evy had playing outside, I decided that I would clean out our back yard. I thought of this for two reasons. 1. So we can invite friends over without embarrassment. 2. So Evy can play outside more. She has several toys (house, cars, swing set) that she can play on, but I can't always be right there. So...I am childproofing the yard, so she can play with limited supervision.

Truthfully, I am a little afraid of the concept. Plus it means she is stinkin' growing up...to be able to be alone outside! Next, comes school... ugh! But, for now she can enjoy the great outdoors while I fold laundry or other things.

I started this morning about 8 AM cleaning all the leaves and junk including trash that has blown in since winter began. We loaded up a truck full of stuff to haul away. I still have some wood to move and the grass to mow tomorrow, but it looks better. I imagine I will be quite sore as I already can feel some achy muscles. The moving wood may be delayed.

In the very back of the yard, by the creek, I have an old swimming pool. It is heavy and we didn't haul it off last year. We planned to us it in our gardening, but it was forgotten. I had planning to drag it to the truck. I began trying to dump out the water and leaves that were in the folds and found a SNAKE! I am not a "woodsy" kind of girl. It was BIG- probably about 4 feet long and at the medial point at least 3-4 inches around. I knew no one would believe me, so I took pictures. Yes, that's right people, I didn't kill the snake, I got the camera! Does that mean I am becoming a photographer? Anyway, I snapped a few pics and then called for reinforcements. Michael and I successfully removed the snake from the yard, but not after thoroughly making it angry. It even hissed and tried to bite. It had such a small head...it couldn't have eaten my toe...but I am glad it is gone. Then my mom said....you didn't kill it?!? Truthfully, the thought never crossed my mind. I guess when he comes back I will do what Evy says and "cut his neck with a knife."




Evy had a blast digging in the new garden site even after the snake episode...and dumping out the dirt from her new dump truck. She was filthy by the time we were done. I imagine this trend with continue. I may be doing more daily laundry loads.

Friends...

We spent a wonderful night with our new friends from church tonight. 5 families- 13 kids. Michael and I feel far inferior as we are the only ones with only 1 child, but I guess that makes us unique in a sense. Hopefully not for long! My husband is not a crowd person, so the 22 people may have been a little overwhelming. I was thankful to see him blossom and he was mingling around and talking to people! I am pretty proud of my man. Later, he said, " I actually had fun."

The kids played outside, Evy loved the sandbox and swings. Mr. Phil pushed her a little too high on the tire swing and we got to see the old swing face. It is a sick thing to say, but I wish I had pictures to share. The face is priceless. She sticks it out, even swing face and all, she never wants to stop swinging. We got to see this face since infancy... it get red and she squints her eyes... but never gives up the swinging.

We ate wonderful food. I want these get together to become more frequent during the summer as the food and fellowship is wonderful. The kids got settled down to watch Bolt, after playing and desert...and Michael and I headed toward the hospital to visit Michael's dad. He had been there since Wed. or Thur. Oh, how I wished we could have stayed...but, a visit to him was much in order.

I am so thankful to this group of people for letting us "fit" ourselves into the group. I imagine it is kind of hard as this group has been hanging out together for the last 3 or 4 years! We definitely appreciate it!

Waiting on the Lord

Many of you know the struggle Michael and I faced trying to get pregnant. We began this process early in our marriage, because we knew that this would be a struggle due to some medical issues. My body doesn't ovulate on its own...which is a key ingredient in the baby making recipe. It took almost 6 years and medical interventions (pills, tests, surgery, hormone reduction, hormone reintegration, and injectable medication) for Evy to be conceived. Then in Aug. 2007 we decided we were ready to add to our family, again. Very quickly, I became pregnant on our own, but miscarried at 10 weeks. In the beginning of that pregnancy my progesterone was low, but they are unsure of the problems that happened. I know at 8 weeks we saw a heartbeat in a baby measuring 6 weeks. So something was not right.

For the last 17 months, I have been waiting. We tried some interventions with the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to help with progesterone...didn't work. I just completed the third cycle of clomid...and still am not pregnant. I am patiently waiting for the Lord here! I have began some programs to take the focus off and as we passed our 10th anniversary I wondered how much longer will I long for this?!? But my question has always been... If I am seeking medical treatment, am I waiting on the Lord?

Many people have said, if your heart was not working right, you would get medical attention...not just pray and wait for God to heal it, right? Then you should seek treatment for this...God is still in control of the outcome. I know in my mind that is true, but it is such a hard issue for my heart. It isn't cut and dry. The word says...ask and it shall be given to you! I am asking.

I am waiting.

But...I am thinking I want treatment, too!

There isn't a verse...and I know 'cause I am reading the One Year Bible...that says "Amy it is time to go to the doctor!" I would even settle for "Beloved, it is time!" The name Amy means beloved...so even that would work...But I still haven't found it!

I am at the crossroads today.

My heart/head want to go back to the doctor and begin medication again.

But, my heart/head fears that is not waiting for the Lord.

I have no answers...

This has been a super busy week...I hate to go more than a week without posting...So I am posting.

:)

I have pictures to show you of our winter wonderland...and as soon as I find the camera cord...I will do that.

Also...no more news on the baby front. Still no definite answers which is good. But, the test I had to take has gone missing. I am sending out a search party...but I will at least be waiting another day or so to get an answer.

Also...baby Stellen is doing better, after a no-so-good-bout. One of her local stations did a news story about all the people praying for her. It is amazing the pictures that have been sent to her.

oh...and I am taking it easy this week since I kind of twisted my knee during spin class. I tried spinning for the first time Monday night. Actually broke a little sweat. My booty is sore. And while doing stretches after class, I popped my knee and it isn't very stable. I planned to walk the Y track last night will Evy was swimming, but I chickened out, not wanting to get a serious injury while in the care of her and no hubby.

Also...just being honest. I didn't do my Esther homework which means I haven't spent much time in the word. I have spent much time doing IEPs.

And...I have some answers about my position for next year. I am excited about it! Looks like I will be getting 3-4 year olds again. This will be great as I will have a lunch break! And time to plan! At least it ~should~ work that way!

Say a prayer today that the day is easy and stress free. Yesterday was full of stress and there were no IEP meetings. Today...I have two IEPs, bus duty, lunch duty, and another meeting with a teacher...plus I have to find time to actually teach my students!