It goes like this...

In August, for a couple weeks- both babies slept through the night (STTN). I was so excited. School was starting and I was getting some much needed rest. Evy never really STTN until like 18+months, so this was cool. Then they got a cold right as school started. They quit sttn. We have battled 4-6 wake ups between them each night. They scream and aren't really comforted until they drink milk. Nutritionally, they aren't suppose to "need" bottles in the middle of the night now. They won't take their pacifier anymore, so they get a bottle and more sleep.

For the last few nights, Jackson hasn't cried much or needed a bottle during the night and Madelyn has only had 1 (about 3am) instead of 2. I can see that we might be crossing over again to sttn. This bit of news is more exciting because I will no longer be living in sin- being jealous of several "new" moms who have bragged that their little guys are sttn at like 6 weeks- ugh! Anyway, I am not getting my hopes up because we will be heading to St. Louis at the end of the week for a wedding. There will be hours in the car, hotels rooms with 6 people in them, new folks to meet, ruined routines and most of all an interruption in sttn.

My prayers (and hopefully yours too) will be that they will be uninterrupted by this trip and will continue to be their happy, unsick selves, who are sleeping through the night.

Moms of multiples are freaks of nature

This is sometimes what it feels like to be me...although I definitely could add a few lines.

Thankful heart!

Thanksgiving has come and gone. It still doesn't seem like it should be the holidays already. Can you believe the day passed without one single picture of the family? I got up early and got the turkey cooking. Then later started the rest of the dinner, only to dash out to Michael's grandma's house. We returned with sleeping children and ate our own dinner. The babies nashed on leftovers from other people and were like begging puppies anytime a turkey plate was fixed. I have a couple videos of them playing but none of Thanksgiving dinner. I am thinking recreation is in store!

Things were a little different around here. My sisters were gone. We didn't have our usually family game time- no cards or "Apples to Apples" was played. No walks to the park because it was just to chilly. In fact- most of the family slept the afternoon/evening away. It seemed calm and relaxing but not normal. Michael worked overnight and so I managed all the night baby wake ups on my own and Evy slept in my bed with me. I got up early Friday morning- but not to brave the shopping crowds. I had planned to brave the black Friday crowds, but it was too frigid to go outside with the twins. Besides, shopping with the twins is never quick and easy. I just started working on sewing projects and spent time with family. It was different, but good.

I had a few reminders of past Thanksgiving and felt a little sad about losing our baby Autumn. It is always mixed good and not so good. I remember that 12 years ago Thanksgiving morn (really, really, really morn- like 1:30am) Michael proposed to me. We have spent the last 12 years loving each other and living life. I am so thankful he has been there in the good and the bad, in sickness and in health- and I hope he still plans on sticking it out until death may part us. My parents celebrate their 36th wedding anniversary on the 27th. What a treasure! I definitely have a thankful heart and many, many, many blessings.

Are we rushing it?

Since they don't make drive through baby food stores, I had to go to a real store last night for oatmeal. The babies were on their way to sleep, so Evy and I headed to Walmart- since they have cheaper food. I walked in with the normal hustle and bustle, realizing my choice of clothing didn't match God's choice of weather. I headed up an aisle and noticed pies- pecan, pumpkin, Paula Dean- I thought of snagging one for Turkey day and noticed they expired before the 25th- so I passed.

As we headed on toward the baby food section and I continued to notice holiday preparations- fudge kits, chocolate chips, marshmallows. Clerks are making it easier to shop- even pairing sweet potatoes, marshmallows and brown sugar in one display. We got our baby foods- a quick peek at the craft section, a quicker look for clearance clothes and headed over to the children's medicine section.

As I walked I heard Christmas music- I hadn't really noticed until then...then I saw Christmas decorations in the front of the store- cupcake papers, ornaments, cookie cutters, tins for decorating...on display right in the front! The dishes section- which last week held beautiful leaf shapes dishes in golds, greens and reds, were replaced with red and white dishes proclaiming "peace on earth" Suddenly, I felt a little panicky...with only a couple gifts bought, I was nervous about how it was all going to get done in time. Then I realized it was over a month away.

Are we rushing it? I am all about celebrating our Savior's birth, celebrating traditions and teaching my children about the joy of giving, but something is missing. I felt like we were skipping the important part- the need to give Thanks. As a society we should be so thankful for our many, many, MANY blessings. I could run down the statics on how we are the wealthiest nation, have the most of everything- but frankly you have heard them- and I don't have time! I feel like we need a lesson on stopping and savoring what is in front of us. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. I know a soldier will die, people will hurt, people will lose jobs, cancer will win with someone, friends will disappoint you, children will be sick, bills will be due, and a plethora of negative circumstances will avail.

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thes. 5:18

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they (A)may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10 (New American Standard Bible)

There you have it...The thief is stealing our season! It is time to be thankful in everything. Paul simply says very directly, "In everything give thanks." No exceptions, no excuses, nothing is outside those parameters, in everything give thanks. That little phrase enpante in the Greek means in connection with everything that occurs...in connection with everything in life give thanks no matter what it might be, with obvious exceptions of personal sin. He is saying no matter what happens to you in life, be thankful. No matter lot, no matter what circumstance, no matter what struggle, vicissitude, trial, testing, be thankful, give thanks. No matter what the situation we are to find reason to thank God. This is not some nebulous thanks fired off into space, it is a thanks given directly to God.

Let's take some time to be Thankful!

The smell of clean babies...

Isn't funny how smells spark memories? This morning I used baby soap in the shower and was flooded with memories of nurses handing me 6lb clean "burrito" babies in the middle of the night last April. I savored the memories of my ity, bity babies for a few seconds. The Bible tells us to pray continually and I have learned to use memories or situations to say little prayers for people. The memories of today sparked several prayers.

Generally, people fall into four stages when it comes to babies- they want babies, they are pregnant, they just had a baby or they have lost a baby. I know ladies who fit in all 4 categories. The thought of my little babies this morning sparked a prayer for a new mom who just had a baby girl about 36 hours ago. Then I thought of another lady who had recently shared her her desire and struggle with ttc and her losses. I said a prayer for her. Then I thought of moms who are currently pregnant and lifted a few prayers for them. Another dear friend popped into my mind whose daughter went to be with the Lord a few short months ago and I said a prayer for her.

Truthfully, I have struggled lately in the area of prayer in regards to confidence. I felt that my prayers didn't matter much. In the summer months, I spent many hours rocking babies and praying for my friend. I had prayed for her during her struggles to get pregnant, during times of miscarriage, during her pregnancy, when complications arose surrounding her pregnancy and after the birth of her daughter. I poured my heart out to God in each of those situations and he answered prayers. My will was that her sweet baby would live, His was that she would live with Him. For a while, I have felt like my prayers didn't do much regarding Lily's life. Maybe I didn't pray enough, maybe they were not heard because they didn't come from a "righteous man". I don't feel like the time was wasted, it just didn't matter much. Gods will was his will. Period. Then I was reminded by another prayer warrior that it was an honor to pray for Lily. Then I saw the lie. The Satan lie. The prayers did matter- and there were answers.

They were answered when Lily lived for 103 days.
They were answered when the she woke from surgery.
They were answered when she was able to drink from a bottle and breath a few breaths of oxygen unassisted.
They were answered when she left the hospital to go home with her parents.
Many were answered...Period. God's will was that she would live with Him.

As I type this morning, I am seeing the way the snake wrapped himself up in my life- my prayer life was squeezed out. I am seeing some repercussions of this lie in other areas of life. I have some work to do...and some prayers to pray! Thank You Lord that you exposed that lie to me all because of a memory and a journal entry. Isn't funny how smells spark memories?

Stream of Consciousness

I can't believe the twins are 7 months. I was planning to take their pictures playing in the leaves but the rain on Friday ruined that. I will have to do it this week, once everything dries out. All three kids have been full of energy as they are starting to feel better again. Evy colored her hand green while I was in the den watching TV- think Shrek green- because she wanted me to say "oh, no, go wash your hands and see if it comes off" Then she colored the other one, because I didn't react. So I called her Shrek and it hurt her heart. I was sorry. Jackson is really on the move- he tried to take a couple steps cruising the table and fell and bruised his forehead- he was pretty upset about it and was cranky the rest of last night.

My foot is really hurting again- I have resorted to using the big black boot- which makes it feel so much better. I have been taking the pain pills again, but only have 3 left- so I guess I will have to just live with it.

I am getting excited for Christmas, but have been trying to figure out what to get everyone on a *tight* budget. Our trip to St. Louis will take some of the extra money we had to spend- but will be so worth it to see everyone for Ryan's wedding. It is just a few weeks away. I can't wait to see Grandma and Uncle Bud and Aunt Donna, but am not looking forward to the 8+ hour drive with the babies. They are finally liking the carseats better so that is a plus.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner- so hard to believe- I kind of feel like this dark cloud lurks around that day after our pregnancy loss a couple years back. Seems to hit me harder every year that passes. I have moved on, grieved that loss, and have such joy about the abundant blessings we have- I am so thankful for all my children, but I just want that hurt to go away. It also makes me sad that so many others have had significant losses- found out this week a lady at church has lost three and another friend is pregnant- praying for a healthy baby for her. Then my thoughts flash back to the abundant prayers said for Lilian and the feeling that in the end it didn't really matter had fervently or righteous my prayers were. God's will is God's will. But I am still praying for her and believing by faith that God's will is for her to have a healthy child.

Oh...that might be a little to deep for some of you-- sorry. It is just were my heart has been lately- heavy and a little sad. My time with God this morning was centered around 1 Cor. chapter 3 where Paul talks about planting the seed and how God makes it grow. The truth is...it all goes back to God.

This is what I found the other night when I went in to check on a crying baby. Madelyn (who is recently mobile) was standing up in her bed. Last night, I lowered her bed, for fear her head would propel her over the side.

I am sure it is about to get really interesting around our house!