Stream of Consciousness

I can't believe the twins are 7 months. I was planning to take their pictures playing in the leaves but the rain on Friday ruined that. I will have to do it this week, once everything dries out. All three kids have been full of energy as they are starting to feel better again. Evy colored her hand green while I was in the den watching TV- think Shrek green- because she wanted me to say "oh, no, go wash your hands and see if it comes off" Then she colored the other one, because I didn't react. So I called her Shrek and it hurt her heart. I was sorry. Jackson is really on the move- he tried to take a couple steps cruising the table and fell and bruised his forehead- he was pretty upset about it and was cranky the rest of last night.

My foot is really hurting again- I have resorted to using the big black boot- which makes it feel so much better. I have been taking the pain pills again, but only have 3 left- so I guess I will have to just live with it.

I am getting excited for Christmas, but have been trying to figure out what to get everyone on a *tight* budget. Our trip to St. Louis will take some of the extra money we had to spend- but will be so worth it to see everyone for Ryan's wedding. It is just a few weeks away. I can't wait to see Grandma and Uncle Bud and Aunt Donna, but am not looking forward to the 8+ hour drive with the babies. They are finally liking the carseats better so that is a plus.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner- so hard to believe- I kind of feel like this dark cloud lurks around that day after our pregnancy loss a couple years back. Seems to hit me harder every year that passes. I have moved on, grieved that loss, and have such joy about the abundant blessings we have- I am so thankful for all my children, but I just want that hurt to go away. It also makes me sad that so many others have had significant losses- found out this week a lady at church has lost three and another friend is pregnant- praying for a healthy baby for her. Then my thoughts flash back to the abundant prayers said for Lilian and the feeling that in the end it didn't really matter had fervently or righteous my prayers were. God's will is God's will. But I am still praying for her and believing by faith that God's will is for her to have a healthy child.

Oh...that might be a little to deep for some of you-- sorry. It is just were my heart has been lately- heavy and a little sad. My time with God this morning was centered around 1 Cor. chapter 3 where Paul talks about planting the seed and how God makes it grow. The truth is...it all goes back to God.