Joyful thanksgiving...

I have been challenged to think of 1000 things I am thankful for based on this life changing book.  Life gets busy and I don't always get to post but I have been keeping journal pages...

Here are some things that brought joy to my day, a smile to my face, and bubbled thanksgiving from my heart from this week...

55. warmer weather
56.  melted snow
57.  The Biggest Loser Wii game
58.  flip flops, hairclips, and fun scarves
59. new clothes and shopping with friends
60. new stroller and days at the park
61. first steps- Jackson's first on 2-14-11
62. chocolate hearts
63.  snuggling with my husband
64. shopping with my oldest daughter
65.  Christian music
66. laughing babies- all three laughing in the backseat of the car is precious
67.  perfect check-ups with the surgeon
68.  Jessica and Brooke
69.  Kerrie
70.  our home group posse
71.  baby shoes

Is beauty a look or a feeling?

This week I have felt really out sync.  I have wrestled with these swirling thoughts in my head.  On one hand I want to look different, have the scale say a different number...on the other hand, carrots don't taste like chocolate and chocolate is good!  I wanted to believe my husband when he told me I looked beautiful before leaving one morning, but it seemed more like habit, since he didn't even have his glasses on and had just opened his sleepy eyes.  Thoughts swirling, "Shouldn't I just be content with what I have instead of obsessed with what I look like.  But...shouldn't I strive to eat healthy because my body is a temple of God."  It is this back and forth mental beating.  But...it all boils down to..."what do I want and why?"  I want to be happy with the way I look.  So what would that take?  Let's see...body like Jennifer Aniston, wardrobe like Meg Ryan, hair like Julia Roberts.  But...these are standards set by the world. 

These are the standards set by God.

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.

What it means: The world focuses on what people look like on the outside. God focuses on what people look like on the inside. Do I put more time and effort into being pretty on the outside or the inside? I am always meeting Christian girls who spend more time trying to find the perfect outfit, get the perfect tan, find the perfect lip gloss, and have the perfect body. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty, I need to make sure it's in balance. God would rather see me work on becoming drop-dead gorgeous on the inside. You know, the kind of girl who talks to Him on a regular basis (prayer) and reads her Bible.

Proverbs 31:3
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

What it means: Beauty fades with age, so if I are more concerned with your outer appearance, I will be unhappy when the wrinkles come and the number on the scale goes up. In fact, I have already been there.  My hands look older, my legs aren't as pretty, the stretch marks are visible.  That is why God wants me to "fear" Him. That doesn't mean to be afraid of Him but rather to be in awe of Him and all that He has done. If you think of it this way...stand two girls next to each other and one is Miss USA whose beauty is limited to physical beauty, and the other young lady is a more average-looking girl who loves the Lord more than anything, she is the more beautiful girl in the eyes of God. I want to be more beautiful in the eyes of the Lord.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

What it means: I think this means it's not wrong to braid your hair or wear nice clothes and jewelry. The verse was written to warn women not to follow the customs of some of the Egyptian women who, during that time period, spent hours and hours working on their hair, makeup, and finding the perfect outfit. God would rather see women work on becoming beautiful on the inside — the kind of beauty that lasts forever.

1 Timothy 4:8

Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.

What it means: Exercising and staying in shape is a good thing, but God expects us to stay in shape spiritually by reading our Bibles, praying, and going to church on a regular basis. In other words, there will be plenty of people who put their time and effort into staying in shape but who are out of shape spiritually. If they don't know Jesus Christ, their perfect bodies won't get them through the gates of heaven. Right now, it seems more important to spend time on my relationships then obsessing about exercising.

 
I have come to realize that I don't do something average...it is either nothing or everything.  I become "addicted" to whatever I pursue.  If it is eating, it becomes my major focus. If it is exercising, it becomes the only thing I do.  It is all about balance and I don't seem to be good at balance. I want to in a way that is pleasing and beautiful to God while managing to cloth myself in a way that makes myself feel beautiful.

So, is beauty a look or a feeling? By definition, beauty is a noun... a person, place or thing.  You can have a beautiful person, a beautiful building... beauty is a thing.  It is what we do &  how we present ourselves.  The world teaches us to focus on outward appearance, but Jesus taught to focus on the heart.  To live according to the scripture and to be on guard (guard my heart, guard my thoughts, be alert to Satan's trap, be on guard for the return of Christ).  I don't want my appearance (outward or inward) to take  the focus off the Lord.

Some adaptations from 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter by Vicki Courtney c. 2008 B&H Publishing Group.

One thousand gifts...

After several snow days and some 24 hours stomach bug last week...

35. get well soon card sent from the hospital staff
36. insurance
37.  Starbucks
38. Chick-Fil-a
39. conversations with Michael while babies chat
40. Facebook
41. unexpected mail
42. a winter coat
43. snow day (#1-5)
44. sweet ice tea
45. dreams, hopes and ideas (however crazy they may be)
46. cleaning supplies
47. washing machines
48. cry babies-learning to communication
49.  first words
50. first steps
51. diapers
52. coupons
53. tax returns
54. antibiotics

{beauty} made for so much more than all of this

My husband tells me that I am beautiful....
... even with the extra pounds and stretch marks from fertility drugs, pizza, ice cream and babies.
...even with no shower, boogers in my hair, puke on my shoulder...he still says it.

but

I

don't

believe

him.

This topic seems to be nailing me lately...through a Bible study at church that I am avoiding, books I am choosing, the scriptures passages, blogs I read...I have been constantly smacked with the idea of beauty.

Beauty
(from Julia and Melissa's blogs) 

This one word haunts women everywhere regardless of location or culture or even socioeconomic status. Himba women in Africa smooth their hair into elaborate dreadlocks with the clay from the earth and rub their skin down with it until they appear wholly red-brown burnished and lovely. Women in China, once obsessed with the beauty of small feet, would bind their feet until bones broke and their feet were permanently deformed; the most beautiful feet were a mere 3 inches. American women starve themselves to be as thin as the Photoshop edited models; and as they age they resort to tummy tucks and Botox and expensive creams hoping to achieve the impossible standard of Beauty.

Our hearts were made to crave Beauty.
But what is Beauty? And does it reside in me?

And when my husband says that I’m beautiful, how can I receive those words as truth in a culture that says the opposite?

What am I going to teach my daughters about Beauty?
And most importantly, what does the Word of God say about Beauty?
I am joining Julia and Melissa,  fellow moms of twins, as they explore  True Beauty each Friday.

So today I am beginning to explore beauty.  I think that my brain is conditioned to "feel" beautiful rather than recognizing where beauty comes from.  Last year, I quit buying magazines- no Cosmo, Shape, Fitness.  It has made a big difference in how I feel about myself.  For more than 12 months, I  have fasted from images of  "Babylon" during and after my study in Daniel.  It just kind of stuck and I was much happier not feeling the need to conform to women in the magazine...plus I was pregnant with the twins, so that helped.  I have always struggled a battle with my weight and it has brought me to very low places.  I have tried many things to lose and what I end up losing is hope and willpower...only to feel defeated and trampled down.  I am beginning to realize that  maybe it is more of spiritual battle as well as a mental battle.  I am wondering...how can I accept that I am beautiful in the ways that God made me beautiful without feeling the need to conform to that of "Babylon"?  I think of that Mercy Me song...  Here Bart talks about the message behind the music he wrote with his daughters in mind.

Days will come when you don't have the strength

And all you hear is you're not worth anything

Wondering if you ever could be loved

And if they truly saw your heart

They'd see too much

You're beautiful, You're beautiful

You are made for so much more than all of this

You're beautiful, You're beautiful

You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His

You're beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight

Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight

For all the lies you've held inside so long

But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful, You're beautiful

You are made for so much more than all of this

You're beautiful, You're beautiful

You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His

You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath

Long before the world began

Of all the wonders He possessed

There was one more precious

Of all the earth and skies above

You're the one He madly loves

Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful

In His eyes

You're beautiful!

You are made for so much more than all of this

You're beautiful!

You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His

You're beautiful!

You are made for so much more than all of this

You're beautiful!

You are treasured

You are sacred

You are His

The girl from church...

There is a girl from our church.  I don't know much about her.  I don't know much about her family.  She is beautiful and kind.  She is soft spoken and elegant.  When she was in college, I sent her a care package.  I admired her voice and her relationship as she sang duets with her father in church.  Since then, she has grown up.  Over the last months I have spent hours praying for her... I guess this makes you feel closer. She isn't my friend, although she could be.  In 2007 she married.  Last May, her husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  After a many treatments, I felt hope as I prayed for them.  Then she was pregnant.  I don't remember all the details, but it seemed that little boy's heart had a hole, which eventually healed.  He was born healthy.  Praise the Lord.  This last week I felt a strong burden for her, her family, and the journey of cancer.  Since Christmas Eve, her husband has battled the end stages of cancer.  I would wake at night and pray for peace.  For them to have plenty of pictures and video so that little boy will be able to "know" his Daddy when he is older.  I prayed for a miracle.  I prayed for healing.  I prayed for preparation.  I prayed for their hearts to be full of his/HIS love.  I know the Lord has given them plenty of mercy and grace.  She is a strong woman. She is surrounded by family.  This morning her husband was healed as he entered the gates of heaven.  I know her days are difficult.  Please join me in praying.  She isn't just a girl from my church.  Her name is Laura  and her son is Landon. 

multitude Monday

20. peaceful Saturdays
21. dinner with friends
22. sweet tea
23. coffee with friends
24. more connecting
25. late night conversations with my husband
26. tax refunds
27. home improvement projects
28. dinosaurs
29. Grandparents stopping by
30.  Hoover Floormate
31. 100 days of school
32. haircuts
33. learning the books of the New Testament
34.  reading books

One thousand gifts...

I have been challenged to acknowledge big and small gift from our Creator.  This last week has been more difficult and easier than I expected.  I thought now would be a good time to join the many who celebrate multitude on Mondays.

**I ordered the book and will begin the study with Bloom in a few weeks...join me here!

1. successful surgery for my Little Guy
2. sleeping in my own bed
3. no cavities!
4.  coffee
5.  and hazelnut creamer
6. grandparents
7. conversation with friends
8. laughing with family
9. my car
10.  warm coats
11.  snow
12. flexibility
13.  my lovely husband who takes care of me
14.  matress warmers
15.  good books (Recently: Plan B by Pete Wilson and  I will Carry You by Angie Smith)
16. my job
17.  my husband and his willingness to stay home with my children
18. pretty headbands
19. sisters and "sisters"