Not Me Monday!!

Welcome to my verson of MckMama's blog carnival... Join us in liberating the choices we may or may not make this week.

This week, I certianly did not tell my daughter to take a nap and then was totally shocked when she put nail polish on her fingernails, fingers, toes, toenails, foot, leg and even her face an in her eye. She did not explain that she was trying to use the nail polish as Lash Blast- you know, "cause it makes your eyes pop" I am definately not to blame as I do not wear mascara everywhere. My husband and I did not spend 15 minutes explaining that we would probably need to take her to the hospital while she screamed and cried...hoping to flush out any nail polish in her eye. Oh...and I didn't take pictures of the faces she was making. This behavior would be particularly cruel as she has an understanding of hospitals and getting IVs and blood because her Grandpa spends lots of time there!

I also didn't let my daughter go to the mall dressed like "Fancy Nancy" and have lunch with a friend. Nah! We are dressed in normal play clothes when we leave the house. And my daughter certainly doesn't wear the same (dirty) dress everyday at home as her "house dress"!

I also did not let my (almost) 4 year old suck on a pacifer because she wanted to pretend to be a baby...when she pitched a fit before bed when I tried to take it away, I didn't win the battle by not figthing it.

I also did not cry during the movie Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen while taking my hubby on a surprise date.

I also did not laugh so hard that I almost peed my pants when I went to go see The Hangover with my family. We don't like to expose ourselves to unhealthy language and things of that nature. And I am certainly NOT recommending that you see both of the aforementioned movies...soon!

Kids Say the Darndest Things....

Evy says some pretty cute phrases these days. She is developing quite a little personality as she races toward turning four. Although I will say that she picks up on quite a few of the things that she hears and repeats them-in and out of context.

Yesterday, she was singing a song that her and her daddy sing. It is a little back-and-forth tune- where he says " I love my Evy" and she responds "I love my daddy" They play this game for a while and she usually changes up who she loves. Yesterday, she said "I love my daddy"--"my mom is boring" Michael couldn't get over that at all.

She is definitely the speech police. If anyone is having a conversation containing too much emotion...she will say "calm down" or "chill out"! She also doesn't like people to argue. She told Michael and I to be nice to each other when we were having a little discussion in which we didn't agree.

A few weeks ago, she asked to play Red Rover as we were getting ready for bed. I asked her, how do you play red rover. She responded, "Mom you lay down, put your booty in the air, I climb on. Then you (push your nose with your index finger) and I s'plod (explode) to daddy."

She is in love with makeup- she thinks it makes her beautiful. And yes, I am preparing some sort of Biblical lesson on self-worth etc. for her (and I). Anyway, she loves the mascara commercial for Cover Girl's Lash Blast. She noticed that I use lash blast and told me "it makes your eyes pop." When she was sick Michael got her a little beauty kit that had shimmer lotion, lip-gloss and fingernail polish in it. She had been using the polish to paint my toes at times. Eventually, I guess she took it into her room and was trying to paint her own fingers, toes, legs, and even tried to use it as "lash blast" when she was to be laying in her bed resting. It was the highlight of my Tuesday! I wasn't sure what was in her eye-if she had just poked it or what. But, after many, many, many tears she seems normal, so no emergency room visit was in order.

Making a movie

Last night after a very long day which included a long meeting at church, Michael and I took Evy to downtown to see the making of the movie. Film crews have been in town a couple of days, the town square has been transformed into the 50's era. It was amazing to see our little town being thrust into a movie.

In reality it was too late, too dark for good pictures and you couldn't get too close. But, we walked around to different places and had a pretty good experience. I didn't see any famous people (like Casey Affleck, Simon Baker or Kate Hudson-some of the stars) but we did see some people whose names will make the credits. We saw some prop people, the director and some camera men. Several times we even heard some of the lines of what I can only imagine is a fight scene. It was cool to hear them yell rolling down the block when the cameras began shooting. Evy asked "what are they rolling?" We have heard the the crew was very happy to work in our little town because the people where so respectful and accommodating. It was nice to hear.

How do you celebrate?

I have officially begun Planning a Posh Soiree! Evy's birthday is always big ta-doings here at the homestead. You know...she is kind of spoiled...and such a miracle, we figure we should celebrate it right.

The first year we had a tie dye party. Evy was really too young to know that was going on, so we did something fun for the adults. But she sure enjoyed the cake.





For her second birthday, she ASKED to have a pony. Now that Daddy of hers, is wrapped so tightly around her finger that her circulation is becoming a problem. We not only had a pony, but a goat and a chicken too! We had a tent put up and hay bales brought in. It was a nice reminder of why you don't plan an outdoor party at the end of July. But all in all was pretty fun!

*sorry can't find the pictures** will add later**

For her 3rd birthday, I decided to plan at Leonardo's. We had a princess party. With a fabulous cake by Mary. It was a fun day of playing and exploring indoors and then cooling off outside at the castle's water area.




For her fourth birthday, the planning has begun early since we will be out of town and busy with VBS during the month. She wanted a pirate party, a Hannah party and to go to Hawaii for her birthday. She has been SO into lipstick, make-up and beauty that I figured a Fancy Nancy party would be the perfect fit. We can do it up a a local salon or do it ourselves. The cost would be about the same, but of course doing it ourselves we can invite more people AND add some extra items. So...do you have any ideas for our Fancy party?

If you have some cool ideas...add them in the comments. OTHERWISE.........

I want to see how you celebrate birthdays! Add you party page links here using the *New* MckLinky.

Rough Week

I have been in a funk all week. I wasn't sure why. I just haven't felt normal-really I was feeling about half crazy. Most things annoyed me and I felt like I could cry at the drop of a hat. Still could, really, but that is a whole other post. Usually shopping makes me feel better. Last night, Michael and I went and looked at bedding (for the new bed that hasn't been ordered yet). We spent a small fortune on sheets, blankets, shams, etc. The lady kept trying to get us to buy decorative pills and I kept saying no, because I don't even make my bed. Then we made another family purchase. The bleh feeling didn't subside. When we got home family came and that was a little better- I felt myself smile for the first time today. Later as Michael and I were talking about our new bedding, I realized it is much like our old bedding- so it is likely going back!

There are many reasons to be have experienced a bleh week.

We are half way through summer- so the boredom blues may be starting to hit.

Michael's dad was put in the hospital again-admitted through ER due to a drastic bleed, which turned out to stop itself...and he was released Friday- Praise God!

The plans for ordering new office equipment had to be put on hold due to the "holds" on the insurance money. So, I will be leaving before that happens.

Our vacation plans may be changing due to Mike's recent hospitalization.

Really? I asked myself this morning...truthfully, those kinds of reasons happen every week around here. Plans change and few things go my way. But I never feel like this. It could be the new birth control that I started, but...ah maybe a little.

Truthfully, I think it is a deep in my soul revealing of what this week is. I hadn't really thought about it...But Monday-the 22st would have been the 1 year birthday of our lost baby. If she had been born on schedule. Now I can't even remember really- the 15th, the 22nd- it doesn't really matter. All I know is that the dates passed with no connection. Hidden below is a counter it has been since we lost her. I usually ignore it, but I glanced at it the other day. 1 year and 7 months. A lifetime ago really. That dream is gone. Now we face the reality of another possiblity in a couple weeks. I am hopeful but not too confident. I guess I am trying not to be too confident because I don't want to experience the heartbreak again. If I think it won't work and it doens't-it hurts less.

I don't want to live with that attitude. I want to be confident in my God that he will bestoy a blessing. We have a plan. He has a blessing. That should be enough. I pray that it will be for today. And we can start again tomorrow.

Please join me in praying for this new plan. Currently, we are scheduled to start shots on July 27 making the corresponding due date in May- that is perfect! I am praying this is God's plan.

My Psalm 126

God, I remember a time before-

you brought drought and then

great joy

when the blessing rained.


I am looking for that same

hope

the blessed assurance and

confidence that You will

rain with blessing.


For now- I live-a little

concerned about the timing-

unsure of what will come-

learning to be patient (again!)

Confident in You- sure and secure!

I have sown plenty of tears

and stand in wait

waiting to reap with joy!

LOVE that Surrounds

Today has been a rough day. It was one of those days I was in a funk. Things didn't go as I had planned. I was cleaning and re-organizing the spare bedroom. This meant going through older toys (baby items), out of season clothes, outgrown clothes and a few "found" new baby items. I have been struggling a little with the timing of the fertility treatment...plus adding extra hormones, makes this process difficult. God has been good to me, but there is still some struggle in the mix. Yesterday, I was excited to know the time table set up with the RE, today I am not enjoying it so much. I digress. So, I was doing okay. The plan for Michael to come home early was busted, the purchases we had planned to make were put on hold until the check could clear the bank-so I was somewhat frustrated, but okay. Then I found "the shirt." Sometimes, especially after experiencing loss, there are things that sock-you-in-the-face and take your breath away-reminding you of the pain. Well, the shirt is that in the face reminder of our miscarriage. I had purchased a t-shirt that said "World's greatest Sister!" for Evy to wear as we prepared for the baby. I had purchased it just a few days prior to the death of our baby. I have tucked this shirt away several times. I can't bring myself to give it away (yet!) and she won't be able to ever wear it (too small now). So, the physical pain arose making the day almost unbearable. Plus, frustration mounting from the uncompromising day, I was in the climb back into bed moods.

I was also frustrated because Bible Study this morning had been so good, so I knew that I was under some kind of attack, but felt like I was drowning, much like Jonah-seaweed entangling my head, the deep surrounding me...I was sinking and sinking fast. I needed a good cry, but couldn't bring myself to experience the defeat, so I kept up the strong face. A great friend called to give me an update...and she didn't buy the strong face. She could tell something was wrong. Her encouraging words were exactly what I needed. I spent the evening recovering. I happy to say the physical pain has lifted and I will continue to walk in victory.

I came home after some much needed family time and worked some more on my Stepping Up Study. Learning that God encamps around us. He surrounds us like a wall of fire. He is surrounding me like a ring of fire.

I have asked myself a thousand times:If God surrounds us (and is for us)like a mighty mountain, then why have I suffered so much harm? Psalm 34:17-19 tells me that God hears and delivers, He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those with a crushed spirit. God never promised to remove me from the human experience. Even when I encounter the tough stuff, I know that God never gives more than we can handle and great blessing usually follow. If he delivers me from every trial- I will never experience the beauty from ashes, strength from fear, gladness from mourning or peace from despair.

Right now, it feels a lot like "living between the times" Psalm 126 describes a time of joy-laughing, singing, blessings and good fortune-God was wonderful and they were a happy people. Then they say- And now, God, do it again- v. 4. These people were remembering a good time-living in the now-and another good time hoped for! I am there in the now...remember the miracle of our first child, hoping for another...but in the mean time-scared out of mind that it isn't going to work, that I will need to deplete the hormones from the body, that we expedience sadness again and that the timing won't be in place soon! But, Jeremiah 29:11 says "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future!

So until the future arrives, I will live in the ring of love that surrounds me. The fire protects me from the roaring lion that seeks to steal, kill and destroy!