Best Under Pressure

April 28-- the deadline for a $40,000 technology grant. When did I find out about the deadline? Friday. So today three of us spent the day writing/creating about 30 pages of information to be mailed out by 5p.m. today! I am amazed that we got done. Especially with the snags we encountered. First my flip-flop broke, so I walked around most of the day without shoes. (accept during lunch duty when I borrowed from my mom- one of the perks of your mom working at school) Then I have an injured shoulder... so typing was interesting. Several discipline problems, campus police and teacher interrupting ever few minutes... It was quite a circus. I reliezed about 5 that I hadn't went to the bathroon or eaten a real meal (chocolate and popcorn don't count). Thank God for moms- who picked up my kid, brought me shoes, dressed Evy for gymnastics, took her to gymnastics and brought her home-- while I continued to write. So I guess I am best under pressure.

The shoulder saga...
It has been injured numerous times and one rib frequently pops out of place. Yesterday, I was shopping for some clothes for Evy and squatted down to sift through a rack. She came up and pulled on the back of my shirt, causing me to lose my balance. In order to save my dignity... I stopped myself, which caused the right shoulder to be hurt. I am not sure the extint, but I know that lifting it up or behind me is terribly painful. So basically common tasks are impossible. So for the next few days... rest and a visit to the doctor. I am sure a round or two of flexil will do the trick. I am afraid to find out what is really wrong becuase it might ruin my summer plans of gardening and swimming.

Adoption...is it calling my name??

So it has been on my mind for months. Especially after the baby died, it seemed to be a better option for our family. Plus it would eliminate the fear of being pregnant and going 11 weeks to lose another child. We have done this twice now. Get pregnant and lose it. I just can't bear it again.

It is hard for me to explain to my family why we should adopt. And it is a little harder for them to think about accepting someone else's child into our lives. But after seeing several stories it just seems to sink into my soul. There are so many beautiful children that need a loving home. We have that home to offer. Even a baby with some disabilities would fit into our lives. Either way- live birth or adoption- it is still scary. But, after talking with Michael, we are going to start the process. He just wants me to be happy. And... the Lord has spoke to him about adoption too. He heard a message about adopting out of your church or setting up an adoption house through church. He had sent away for the paperwork. It has been sitting in our kitchen for a long time. We decided we are going fill them out and start the process. I am praying that the Lord will bless us with the finances in order to make this possible. God has been blessing us richly. I am pretty excited but need to remember that the process can be timely and have some snags. So you can pray for our family and this new adventure.

Meredith turns 3!!

Today was the party for SuperMom's baby. We had a blast in Newkirk. Evy thought we were going to a princess party (everything is always about Princesses) at a new castle. I guess Michael thought we were going to Newcastle, OK instead of Newkirk-- she was a little confused. But the party with boas and ties, teacups and pinnafols was just adorable. The kids were so great. Michael was playing balloon tag and tea party with all the little girls. It was a great thing to watch him-those kind of things rekindle your love for your man. I will post some pictures later.

It's almost my birthday....

Evy is really excited about her upcoming birthday. (July 29- she is next after Uncle Justin) She is already delegating assignments for her party. She wants a "ballerina" party. She said we needed to get a pinata. Today she told Grandma that she needed to go get a ballernia cake for her party. It is pretty funny. I don't really know what you do at a ballerina party... but I guess we will figure it out. I am hoping she will choose Leonardo's and have a castle party. It would be more fun for all the adults.

Juno-- not a wise choice!

Michael has been working a lot this week. With his parents gone and the other folks not showing up... he is picking up extra time. Evy and I have been up there for a few hours to spend time together before bed. But tonight, I stayed home. Evy wanted to watch a movie- so I decided I wasn't into watching Nemo for the 5th time this week, so I sat down to watch Juno. I guess I am not over everything as much as I thought. I cried for like hours. I guess it really gets to me some days. Especially around the 22nd of the month. Subconsciously somethings. I can't quit thinking that maybe adoption would be the best way to go. I don't know if that is a "whisper from God" or if it is my heart just aching for a bigger family.

It's over... for now....

I was sure after we lost the baby... I would be pregnant in time to have a Dec. '08 baby. Well... that isn't going to happen. I have finally decided I am still a little angry about this whole situation. I mean... I should be coming home from the hospital in about 9 weeks with another bundle of joy. I am kind of scared what June 17 will bring. Thank God, I won't be working that day. I am still angry and now I am exhausted at all the work that goes into trying to concieve. When it happened the first time, I didn't know any different. I understood why my body didn't respond as it should. Well... now I don't get it. So for now... it is over. We aren't going to "try" we are just going to put it in God's hands. In some ways I am a little angry at him too. What are terrible thing to say... but I just haven't gotten over it. I will never understand it. I will never be okay with it. It is just not fair. Most days I don't even think about it now... but I have been this week.

So... I decided I needed something to do for me. When I was pg the first time they told me to not strength train for some risks to the placenta. So when I got pg the second time, I didn't work out- quit the gym... And now I have been pretty lazy for the last 6 months. I decided this week that I was going to work off my unhealthy weight (which will aid in pregancy later) and I begin eating right for my hormonal condition and working out. So I bought a book and workout DVD... and I started today. Hopefully I will continue this committment... it will be some good ME time.

Also, FIL got out of hospital yesterday. He had been in the rehab center doing special exercises. He left with a at home plan for therapy and walking, several prescriptions and some home health and PT services. They aren't home in Enid... but they are out of the hospital. His blood went up again and he is receiving a shot to make it increase even more... Hopefully he is on the road to recovery.

It can't be a month...

Well... It has definately been a long time since I posted. We have spent the last 40 days in absolute discombobulation. FIL has been in the hospital and has been moved once. Now they are an hour and half away. Currently, the insurance company won't pay for a liver in OK, and Dallas, Houston and St. Louis (I think) have denied him because on paper he is too well. But, at Christmas he weighed 166 lbs and now he ways about 113. The TIPS procedure is preforming it's job, but he is still not fixed. He still has pressure and therefore some bleeding. They won't do anymore surgery to correct the bleeding because his bowels are so thin that anyplace that is touched begins to bleed. He is now on a rehab floor for the next 10 days or so to work on strength and learning to walk with a walker up and down stairs. The family has asked the insurance to find a hospital that will take his unsual case and so they are looking at UCLA and some other place.

I changed my teaching position and I have been busy with paperwork and teaching little ones. But now I love my job. It is very rewarding. Last month we talked about weather and now dinosaurs.

We are still trying to concieve another baby. I was hoping that this would happen before Autumn's due date... but it isn't looking promising. Last month, I had a chem. pregnancy, so now I am thinking something needs to be done. I made an appointment with the doctor for next Thurs. so we shall see.

My little girl isn't so little anymore. She is almost 100% potty trained. So it is great not to have to change so many diapers (we still wear a pull up at night) We have has some issues with #2 but it seems to be better the last few days.

So I will try to keep up posting!