THREE more days, really???

I generally try to keep the posts here upbeat and light...I'm just not feeling that way today. I could share a long list of aliments that are making the last days seem horrible. I might sound a lot like Rosanna Roseannadanna in this clip!

Then I got to thinking about how there isn't that much time left in this pregnancy. Three days. Kind of similar to the time that Jesus faced when he knew his time of ministry was over. He was crucified on a Friday, rose on a Sunday... maybe if I think in those terms it will get easier. I know that I don't have anything that compares to the pain, agony, humiliation and torture that Jesus went through as he died for our sins. And boy am I glad that I don't!

Easter didn't really feel like Easter this year. We didn't attend church (as I have kind of lived under a rock these days) and we didn't have a big traditional family dinner. We spent time with Michael's family for a few hours before my feet were so big I couldn't stand it and then went home in enough time to enjoy a little outdoor time with Evy.

I am so looking forward to and dreading Monday morning at the same time. I am not a big fan of hospitals, IVs or surgeries...all of which I will be having! But I am looking forward to seeing those lovely baby faces. I am a little freighted of the outcome, praying that each baby will be super healthy and will not spend time in the "special" nursery or need a NICU. I have prepared myself as much as possible to understand what the c-section will entail-so hopefully there will be no surprises there. I am also very excited for our new family members to meet the special people in our lives. I am just wishing I could travel forward a few days and get it over with because the wait is torture!

Tomorrow I have one more NST (non stress test). These tests are usually very stressful for me as Madelyn doesn't like to stay on the monitor. I am praying that she will be cooperative tomorrow and we can get in and out in less than 40 minutes! I also may go and do a little pampering...get my hair cut as it might be the last time that happens for a while.

We do have some prayer requests:
First, that my blood pressure would be acceptable and that there would be no more "pre-eclampsia" talk...and that pre-e wouldn't develop.
Second, that tomorrow's NST would run smoothly and quickly!
Third- that Monday would arrive quickly for me...not necessarily for the rest of you who would like to enjoy a long weekend.
Fourth, that the surgery would go perfectly with no complications and that recovery would be easier than expected
Fifth, that each baby would be healthy, breathing on their own and not spend any time in the nursery or NICU for monitoring.

I believe in a big God. I can't see him, but I know he is there!

7 days and counting....

By this time next week, we will have met our babies!!! I am beyond excited to say the least. Today we had our final doctor appt before they arrive. Everything still looks great! We could even see vernix floating off baby A. The babies are still in their same positions and surgery is a must due to the fact that baby B is transverse. He asked me not to have them on Saturday as he is out of town...but eluded to the fact they may come early. I am just fine with waiting until next Monday as it will be planned!

Honesty is the best policy.

There is just something about being honest! These days honesty is sometimes hard to come by. We teach our children to be honest in a world that sometimes rewards those who are far from it. So here is a little dose of honesty...

~ I love that my daffodils are blooming and warmer temperatures are rising. Can't wait for spring and summer!
~ I had a little breakdown about the end of this pregnancy last night. I cried and said "I can't do this anymore!!" and I truly meant it. But after a pep talk from my man and a (fairly) good night of sleep- I can at least do today. I imagine the next 11 days will be one day at a time.
~ I am thankful my MIL's skin issue is a not cancer and was resolved yesterday...and sorry it hurt!
~ I am having trouble wrapping my head around why I am carrying two healthy babies and others are not! It stinks and I hate it!
~ I am wishing I had more energy to accomplish the tasks I wish to accomplish. Today I will write thank-you notes for my baby shower. oh, and head to the hospital for another NST.
~ I am wishing more people stopped by just to chat or see what's going on. I am pretty bored all alone during the day. I know that will change once these babies come- but there is only so much daytime TV one can watch.
~ I do not like to watch the news....I would rather not know about the healthcare plan or government spending....I have enough to worry about :)
~ I'd love to consider being a SAHM...just not sure how to make it work, or if it would work for me.
~ Twins are very expensive. The EOBs keep coming in and I am hoping that we will be able to afford this new family of 5 when we are all finally together. The Lord will provide.

Okay...so enough honesty for one day. Guess I should get back to my "job"~~resting and growing babies!

Here are some picture of the nursery. We are almost done- just need a few more of the dots to finish off the closet doors and get a rocker or glider for in there...can't wai to put them in their beds.

Non Stress Test (NST) = Stress!!!

I have been feeling a bit geriatric these days as it seems I am spending lots of time seeing doctors. It started last week with an everyday visit to medical facility and has continued. For the past several weeks I have been seeing my OB every week and getting NST 2 times each week.

A NST is fairly simple: Basically they hook up 3 monitors on my stomach-one for each kid and one to monitor contractions. Madelyn doesn't like to stay on the monitors, so I usually spend the time holding it down and searching for her heartbeat. The test can take anywhere from 20 minutes to 40 minutes (average) if the babies are cooperating. Today....they were sleeping!!! Sleeping babies fail this test. The doctors want the babies to move around to increase and then decrease their heart rates several times during the test. Sleeping babies have stable, stagnant heart rates. To add to the stress of this, I had brought Evy with me to the hospital because Michael was meeting a client and the grandma's were working! She did very well for a 4 year old...but it added to my stress. I knew the test was taking a long time. The nurse came in with a vibrating noisemaker and zapped them a little. They were no longer sleeping and she was able to get her numbers a little quicker. I'm not too sure that I like the vibrating noisemaker...but it helped me get out quicker.

I was little upset (for no good reason) after the test was over, so I went to the office and hung out for a while. The good news is that I think I should only have 4 more of these left!!

17...16....15...14..

Let the countdown begin. We have a scheduled C-section date for April 12. This is a nice day. The babies will be born on an early Monday morning...a great way to start the week! It will also be a great way to disguise some of the grief that day brings. Several years ago, April 12 was Easter and my grandpa passed away. These babies should bring joy behind the sadness.

I am definitely looking forward to meeting them. In many ways, looking forward to not being pregnant. I guess I didn't realize how difficult the last few weeks would be! I am thankful that we have the ability to allow me to take some extra time off- which helps with the issues (swelling, difficulty walking, breathing, etc)

So...I have a few more days to get the house in order and make sure that we are prepared to bring home two bundles of joy. Don't get me wrong, most days I am going to sit and be lazy, resting, because I won't get to do that much when they arrive.

Why is it???

When you things are good, you feel good?

When things are bad, you feel rather bad?

When things are questionable, you feel questionable?

Today I am questionable! The last week has proved to be a little much. I have sort of hit a wall. I imagined that once I quit working, I would enjoy a Spring Break and some much needed rest. Well that hasn't happened, yet! We went Monday to the specialist for a super duper high resolution ultrasound. They could tell us that from all the angles they could see, everything looked good.

We even got a great pic of Jackson's face!



Tuesday I had my regular OB appt, only to find out they wanted me to have blood drawn. YUCK! My results came in Wednesday (after a good NST) with some elevated liver enzymes. I had more blood drawn yesterday and now I am waiting.............*sigh* All the internet research isn't too promising...so I am questionable. In some regards, I am ready to meet this babies...but 33 weeks is still early for them to exit the womb and enter the world. I keep asking God to strengthen me and them while we wait for their ordained birthdays. So, today I wait for the doctor office to call and make a decision based on the blood work from yesterday. Truthfully, this is the hard part for me. I have wrestled with the fact that two healthy babies will enter this world and come home with me. I am still in shock that it could happen...not fully equipped either way. But, it is taking ever ounce of me to put my trust in the un-see-able future. In the God that's not short of cash (sorry...song lyric I can't get out of my head) Not that I don't trust God, I just am ready to be in on the big picture. I am tired from wrestling!